Nov 23, 2020

 The mad Christmas rush is now on as I try to complete as many ornaments as I can to give out this Christmas. Every year I feel like I am getting more and more last minute and this year is just, well you all know because you are living it, too. Exhaustion and chronic stress have depleted all of my energy, creative and otherwise. The only times that I have been this uninspired was during major depressive episodes where any inspiration to do anything was gone. Maybe I am trying to convince myself otherwise, but I do believe that what I am feeling is mental and physical exhaustion and not depression.

These are the current ornaments taking shape under my needle. They are a Designworks kit on plastic canvas, a cheater for not having to truly finish the ornaments beyond cutting them out! My goal is to have the full crosses on all six of these ornaments this week and then I can tackle the backstitching on both these and the four other ornaments that are stitched.

My main activity beside work and vacuuming up dog hair seems to be trying to get enough sleep and taking lots of vitamins and supplements. My first year roommate from university is now a naturopath and she helped me put together a regimen to help me cope with the chronic stress levels that I have been facing since March when things went south here in Canada. My employee discount card purchases read: vitamins, vitamins, toothpaste, vitamins, vitamins, mascara, vitamins and well, you get the picture. The fella and I each have a pill organizer for our vitamin regimens. I finally broke down and called my doctor for pills to help me sleep so that I can prevent a fast and furious slide into depression via sleep deprivation from the anxiety hum that can take over my brain at night. Last, but not least, my Labrador has inspired me to seek out the joy of living in the moment. I use her example of tail wagging excitement over the little things to psyche myself up on the drive to work and to put a smile on my face. All of these things have brought me back from the brink of burnout.

Well, I hope that you are all doing well and that you continue to stay safe and healthy! Happy stitching!

October 5, 2020

 So, on a rare day today that the fella and I were both home, he looked over and commented that it seemed to be slow going with my stitching. My reply was that I have limited brain space to do anything these days which he has had a front row seat to watch that gong show develop. I am so tired on a deep level that concentrating on my stitching, or really anything, for long periods of time is not possible. My work is very difficult these days and it taking its toll. His workplace has seen some changes and popped a crazy surprise on us last week that stressed a few months off of my life in 2 days. The prolonged stress of whatever we will eventually use for this time period is killing me despite my best efforts to rest, eat well and take vitamins to support my body.

Life does go on. Life will go on. Happy stitching!

Sept 23, 2020

Wow. So what to say? My last post was in May and my brain is at a loss to tell you what I have been up to these past few months. I started out the lockdown with all kinds of optimism and energy for all of the things I could get done because we could only leave home to work and get groceries. Everyone around me was gardening, making sour dough, decorating their front windows for neighbourhood scavenger hunts and running out of things to watch on Netflix. Me? I was working and coming home in an exhausted mess. My workload doubled and the safety precautions added yet more things onto my "have to do" list at work while trying to handle both my own anxieties about the pandemic and those of our customers and patients. The fella' took over the housework, the groceries and the dogs since he was home for almost 6 months.

Projects that I did achieve during the pandemic:

• I learned to cut my own hair. My hair is super short and I had to work with the public so experiments with bobby pins and scarves were not going to happen for me with hair that was awkwardly growing out.
• my dog regained her strength and health after a crisis that had her diagnosed with Cushings Disease in March.
• reading. Our neighbourhood was fabulous at pooling resources to keep us all amused. Books were passed around since the libraries were closed. Now that the library system is open on a limited basis, I am still trying to read as much as possible to keep this noggin stimulated.
• We planted tomatoes and geraniums in recycling bins as our yard space is too small for much else. The tomato plants kept the kids in the neighbourhood amused as they would stop by daily to count the tomatoes and to remark on their growth. The geraniums are a cheerful hit of colour at our front door. Our veggie box from a local farm sent the herbs with roots so we planted the extra basil and parsley which we have in pots in our kitchen now that the frost has forced us to bring them indoors. I love the smell of basil when I brush up against the plants!
• After being in our house for over a year, I finally got around to putting things on the walls. I sourced plants from neighbours, friends and a local nursery to create the green wall that is badly photographed here. Artwork is slowly making its way to the walls, too. I had hoped that we would buy a house this year so I viewed this place as temporary. For many reasons, we have come to the realization that we will probably stay here as long as we live in Ottawa.
• One of my neighbourhood shares was a book of adult colouring postcards. I made it into a personal and community project by colouring the mandalas and then mailing the cards out around the world to friends. The emails, cards and letters that let me know that the cards had arrived have been heartwarming.
• Last night, I put the last few stitches into this baby quilt that will head out to my cousin's baby. Little Wren was born at the end of July so the quilt will arrive while he is still a baby!

 There have been so many rest and recovery days where I curled up on the couch and played mindless online games. My stitchy bug could not make itself known through the mental and physical exhaustion so all of the projects that I had hoped to stitch are still unstitched. Tonight I will start on the Christmas ornaments for our families and I need to make some posters for the fella's 50th birthday celebrations next week. There won't be a big party, but family and friends are rallying around so there should be lots of phone calls, good wishes and pranks!

Take care, dear reader. I wish you and yours all the best and we all navigate this time. Happy stitching!

May 16, 2020

Well, this is the weirdest Victoria Day Weekend I have ever spent. Usually, this weekend is a weekend to celebrate the warmer weather, check on the cottage if you have one and enjoy a few days off work. This pandemic has us all so disoriented that one of my neighbours barely knew that it was Saturday today, let alone a long weekend. I knew that it was Victoria Day because my work calendar told me that I am off on Monday for the holiday, but we can not go anywhere or enjoy a sunny afternoon at the pub. We have done some physically distant visits with the fella's sisters for coffee and some neighbours popped by this afternoon for beers shared over the fence. The weather may be not particularly summer-like and we may be under pandemic restrictions, but dammit, we are going to sit out in the back yard and drink beer!

I have been stitching away at this quilt, slowly but surely. This picture fails to show how much I managed to finish yesterday as I spent my day off relaxing and stitching. The baby is due in 2 months so there is still time to get it stitched, but my fingers need to fly a little faster with the needle and thread.

The ort jar is filling up nicely with the orts from the quilt on top of the flamingo project orts. The flamingo is in the hands of a friend who is much more skilled with a sewing machine than I am. I could have finished the pillow, but I would have had to hand sew the cover. My girl friend assures me that it will be easy for her to finish once she saw the project and fully understood what I was trying to acoomplish.

One of my neighbours was decluttering a few weeks ago and offered up several colouring books for free. There were 6 or 7 colouring books plus this post card book. I kept this book and a couple of the big books before offering up t my neighbourhood the others along with some novels that I had read. I have an idea of randomly going through my address book and sending out the postcards to my friends and family. I love to send and receive mail so I got to thinking about how I could send out some love and best wishes with my handiwork, my pandemic project as it were.

So, dear reader, I hope that you are keeping busy with your stitching and that, more importantly, you are safe and healthy! Happy stitching!

April 29, 2020

One of the things about being a caregiver is that it is so easy to give everything you have without a second thought without recharging. These days are strange days and we are all operating under a level of stress that most have not experienced before. I, in no way, am trying to say that my burdens and stresses are greater than anyone else's or that my pain is great than anyone else's. Several things have happened to me and my family this past month that are very stressful on their own with the suicide of an aunt and my beloved Lab developed Cushings disease, a pituitary disorder plus a mass murder in my beloved Nova Scotia and tonight, a Canadian Forces helicopter crashed in Greece. Coupled with a pandemic and the very real fear of getting sick because of my job as a pharmacist and this chicken is wearing out on all levels.

I did finally manage to finish stitching this pattern and it is now downstairs waiting to be put in the washing machine before being finished into a pillow. I have been reminded how much I enjoy embroidery, too. Admittedly, there have been many days where I just could not bear to stitch recently and days when I told myself to stitch one length of thread to at least put a few stitches into the piece. 

Now that the flamingo is done and I work on getting the finishing completed, I have started to stitch a quilt for my cousin who is due in July. This quilt is a Joan Elliott design that I chose because my cousin is an ardent socialist and feminist and I don't know the gender of the baby. It is a delightful design that is not in pink or blue and does not give me the heebie jeebies like one quilt pattern I found that was kind of culturally weird to me with its representation of native American stereotypes on it. My cousin is pregnant with her first child and has just lost her mother to suicide. I live in Canada and their family is in the US so the only thing I can do these days is stitch this quilt and send emails to support my cousin.

Sorry to be such a downer. I am trying not to beat myself up for not having the perfect house and the perfect hobbies and saving the world during this time of shelter in place and social distancing. I am doing the best I can during a difficult time and it is okay that you are doing the same. Take care and stay healthy, my friends!

Mar 29, 2020

I hope that everyone out there is safe and healthy. I am both although times have been very trying these past few weeks. My job as a community pharmacist did have me out there on the front lines as this COVID19 pandemic rolled around the world until a 3 day fever last week landed me in my bedroom on quarantine until the swab results came back and now in my house to finish my 14 day isolation before packing my lunch bag and heading back to work. I felt back to normal yesterday in terms of health energy levels, but the stress of that illness, plus a few other big things that are stressful enough on their own, has me kind of bleh in the mental health department.

I can only concentrate on projects in small amounts of time and my creative juices are not flowing. Maybe next week I will feel more like doing some needlework or tackling some big spring cleaning projects or maybe not.

Please stay home if you can, wash your hands frequently and take care of yourself. Reach out if the stress is triggering anxiety or depression.

Feb 27/20

My motivation for crafting and making took quite a dip since moving to Ottawa and going back to work. Fortunately, my drive for making stuff has kicked back in with a vengeance! There has been baking, knitting embroidery and soap making going on in this house this past few weeks and I could not be more content.

First of all, my best friend flew in from New Brunswick to spend a long and cold February weekend with us here in Ottawa. Despite the -20C with a windchill of -30C, we had lots of fun! I even managed to smile while sitting amongst a horde of Leafs fans who turned out to watch their beloved team play the Ottawa Senators. Shelly is an avid knitter and maker of things as well. She has a green thumb like no other and can grown anything. We enjoyed many a great meal, took in some of the Ottawa Winterlude festival and even skated for a few feet on the historic Rideau Canal!

My zenbroidery piece is close to completion and yet, not. Filling in all of the last details is taking longer than doing the bulk of the piece. The piece has allowed me to explore embroidery once again,  play with colour and repurpose so many of the leftover floss that I have accumulated through the years. I was also fortunate enough to be gifted several wonderful designs on linen this week. The bag is sitting on my dining room table as I mull over what to do with them and how to best honour the person who gifted them to me.

My soapmaking urge kicked in again. I have been searching Michaels and Amazon for fun molds. I was over the moon to find the unicorn mold as a little friend of mine loves horses and unicorns. Her mom told me that the soap that I had gifted her last summer was the only soap that has not irritated her so I whipped up this batch of goats' milk soap with her in mind. The round soap in the forefront has a pair of hockey sticks on them. My photography skills and lack of lighting means you have to squint to see it.

I made a batch of castille soap (olive oil, lye and water) today. There are no photos because one of my neighbours called as I was setting up my work space and he popped over to watch the process as he loves to make stuff, too. The castille soap is for future batches of laundry soap as my current supply should run out around the same time that the current batch in the mold has finished curing.

Last, but not least, I am working on some projects to improve my health. My doctor gently pointed out in a recent appointment  that my BMI was way too high and my blood pressure is starting to creep up. I am trying to eat less processed food, get more and adequate sleep, doing yoga a few times a week and get out more for a breath of fresh air. Even if I don't thrill my doctor with my efforts at my next appointment, I am at least trying. My weight has been pretty stable for the past 10-15 years so I am happy with that even though a lower number would be so much better in the long run.

Happy stitching!

Feb 4, 2020

This piece has lived up to its billing as being zen. Work has been nutty recently so it is a relief to come home to stitch away my stress and worries. Stitching may have even saved my job because my fingers were busy moving the needle and unable to type a hateful email reply to a dumb message that I received the other night. Stitching.....not just for beautifying the world!

Happy stitching!

Jan 21, 2020

This zenbroidery thing is really fun! I am so excited to play with the colours and to see where the colour combinations take me. What I am finding is that I start each flower with a colour and add in the other colours as the section takes shape. The final bouquet is going to be kaleidoscope of colour and I like it! 

I took a trip to Michaels today to get a fabric marker so that I can trace out a design for a friend who is moving on from Ottawa. That is all that I can say about that project just yet. A unicorn silicone mold was an exciting find for the soap I plan on making for my dear friend, Lilly. There were a few other molds of interest that I may go back for. Amazon has quite a selection of ones that will work well for some gag gifts that I am planning. **wicked grin**

With this return to stitching, there is a return of my ort jar. This zenbroidery pattern is making my ort jar so colourful and lovely as I stitch during these cold winter nights here in Ottawa. The fella' is upstairs in bed with the flu so I am downstairs stitching on my day off today, in between chucking food and medications at him in his germ infested room.

Happy stitching!

Jan 12, 2020

Happiest of New Year wishes to you all from wintry Ottawa. We had freezing rain all night and now we are in a snow flurry so it is a most awesome weekend to stay home and stitch! For me, it was a perfect way to recharge after a hectic month of kids visiting, family events, Christmas, work and life.

With the start of a new year, what is old is new again for me. Embroidery was a love of mine as a child, well before I discovered cross stitch. There are a few pieces stashed away upstairs that I stitched as a 10 or 11 year old from stamped embroidery that somehow made its way into our house. I have not done much embroidery since I was a teenager so it was a surprise to me to see how much my interest was captured by it recently. As part of my trying to continually learn and grow, I joined a facebook group Millenial Needlecrafts so that I can see what the kids are up to, as it were. What an amazing and dynamic group. For years, I have heard that the needle arts were dying out, but let me tell you, there is an amazing group of people who are doing some really neat things. The artistic expression and experimentation that is shared with the group is so inspiring. While I am not a huge fan of the profanity (odd, as I swear like a sailor in real life), I love the new avenues of design and ideas and have been inspired to pick up my non-blunt needles and thread to embroider again.

One idea that captivated me was zenbroidery, a stitching version of the adult colouring book. A quick search of Amazon came up with this kit:

It came with a stamped cloth and a needle as well as an instruction sheet that shows the needleworker how to do stitches like the chain stitch and satin stitch. I pulled out my hoop and this mess of threads that are leftovers from kits that I have completed.

While the freezing rain tapped against the windows all afternoon and evening, I stitched away at this piece and played with colours. Thanks to all of my years of cross stitch, I still have nice and even satin stitches. I love pulling out different colours to start on a section and then changing my mind as I stitch because the piece will speak to me differently by the time I go to add a colour. The beauty of this piece is that there are no rules.

Happy stitching!