March 13, 2022

The news out of Ukraine last weekend continued to be grim as I settled in for a stitchy Sunday with the dogs. My meditation and prayer for Ukraine continued as I watched the news for a bit before turning to my favourite renovation show to avoid becoming completely overwhelmed with the images of mothers and children fleeing their country along with their grandmothers and pets.

Stitch by stitch my prayer continued as I contemplated how I can also actively help Ukrainian refugees. Thoughts and prayers are lovely, but they do not warm a person like a hot tea or provide shelter and rest like a hotel room. I am awaiting the invoice from a hostel in Frankfurt, Germany that is offering beds for 20 euros/2 nights and I donated some surplus medical supplies to a woman who was collecting as part of an effort by a local church. I also purchased some cross stitch patterns on Etsy from a designer in Lviv, Ukraine. 

The last stitch went into my prayer last night so now my thoughts turn to how to finish. Well, not really. Who am I kidding? I have never been enthused about finishing my small stitches so finishing this project will be part of my challenge to myself in praying and meditating. My finishing skills are okay but I really do prefer the stitching part over the finishing part.

Despite the calendar telling us that Spring is mere days away, the 10cm of snow that fell Friday night is Winter's way of saying that the season is not over yet. The odd robin has been spotted and I do hear birds chirping in the trees in the morning when I head out to scrap ice and snow off my vehicle before leaving for work. Winters here in Ottawa are colder and longer than my East Coast self is used to after a life time of milder, shorter winters thanks to the Gulf Stream. Throw in a healing process that is slowly taking place in my heart, mind and soul as we start to transition into life with COVID being an aside instead of the main course and voila, a new hobby is emerging. 

Someone else in this house keeps grumbling that we have enough houseplants already with 25. He wisely said nothing yesterday when I separated the plant that was loving life on the bathroom counter (one piece is on the left here) and started a  2 pothos clippings with root hormone in freshly prepared pots. The fiddlehead in the middle is spring time delight in New Brunswick and the green of the glass just adds so much to the white winterscape when I look out my kitchen window.

We have such a small backyard here in the town house section of the housing where we live so I can not really indulge in my passion for gardening outside. I have 3 planters for tomatoes, a small shed, a spot for our whirlygig clothesline and the rest of the yard is for the dogs to do their business. At our last house, when we had to turn the yard back to its original state before we left, I dug out so many plants and sold them for $2 a piece, making over $70 from my plant sale. That does not include the 10 rhubarb plants I gave away and the raspberry bush that did not get dug out or all the flower beds that I did not touch. At our current house, I had to ask our next door neighbours if I could plant flowers on the shared little patch of grass out front between our 2 houses. Sooooo, the lack of outdoor space means that our walls and windowsills and bookshelves are being filled up with plants. Mind you, some space will be freed up once the weather co-operates enough for the 4 geraniums I am wintering in the house can go outside. 

Happy stitching and Happy Spring (is coming)!!

March 3, 2022

What to do about overwhelming news coverage when it is so devastating and can have some big consequences so very close to home? So many families are waiting to hear what will happen as our government puts so many troops on standby while increasing support for Ukraine. The war is just one more layer of stress on top of all the other stressors that have been pressing in on me and other Canadians. I feel for the people of Ukraine because I can not imagine taking up arms or making Molotov cocktails in preparation to defend my family and home. 

I am not usually a thoughts and prayers kind of person, preferring action over the metaphysical action of putting good wishes out into the Universe to make things better. I am considering making a donation of medical supplies to be sent to Ukraine if I can find an organization here in my area. This design was offered up in one of the many stitching groups that I follow and there was a suggestion of stitching as meditation. A short meditation immediately came to mind as I looked over the design so I say it to myself every few stitches.

For those they have lost

For those they will lose

For those who will survive and thrive

February 17, 2022

Here's an updated photo of my stitching in the past few days while I watch all kinds of madness unfold in my country.

Here is my table as I attempted to fold origami roses yesterday. Progress was slow as this piece of paper resisted being folded.

 

February 15, 2022

 My creativity went right out the window this past year or so. My job was beyond stressful and operating at a prolonged tempo like I have never seen in my 29 years of donning the white lab coat and counting pills. My personal life has been a roller coaster on top of the work gong show. For far too many months, my mind and body kept moving forward only because there was only one other option which was to lay down and give up. My life became get some sleep that was fractured by anxiety and waking at all hours, eating when I could and working so hard that I drove myself into a short term sick leave in October.

Somewhere in the midst of the madness, I found a glimmer of hope. I am not sure if it was a tiny dot of optimism that we had finally turned a major corner in this pandemic or a realization that life is passing me by and I need to grab onto it. There was a moment where I decided to do something every day for 10 minutes that brings me joy. My brain has been so fried from the chronic, unrelenting stress of being a front line health care worker that 10 minutes was all I could manage in a focused way to do anything. Some days, I pick up a novel and read a few pages. Other days, I get on my exercise bike to bump up the heart rate and regain some fitness that has been lost. On really good days, I pick up a needle and stitch. 

Burnout was starting to hover again in January so I booked a week of vacation for February. Today is Tuesday and I am starting to joke about how much adulting I have accomplished already as I take care of all the stuff that has been neglected for months like continuing education, paperwork, house work, appointments and so on. Stitching has been done as well and an up to date photo will follow if I remember. 

I hope that you, dear reader, are hanging in there and getting through each day as best you can.
Happy stitching!

December 12, 2021

 Busy fingers here yesterday as I scramble to finish my Christmas gifts so that they may arrive at their destinations before Christmas. Some of my family members are getting Happy New Year gifts this year because the dumpster fire that has been 2021 has me just barely feeling either creative or festive. The good days are outnumbered by the bad days still so I struggle to get through each day to get up, go to work and come home. The mental and physical exhaustion make it hard for me to feel like creating anything in any form. Finishing these ornaments made me feel amazing yesterday as I FINALLY ACCOMPLISHED SOMETHING!!

Happy stitching!

Oct 20, 2021

This jar contains all of my orts from January 2020 onwards. The orts are usually discarded in the New Year but I am thinking that I am going to save this jar and its contents until we are out of this pandemic. These remnants represent so much uncertainty, tears, pain, trying to cope, trying to survive and trying to lead all at the same time. I became a manager at work at the same time that the fella' was heading off to a 60 day rehab for alcohol dependence and that the vaccinations against COVID were ramping up here in Canada. 

There has been a great personal cost in dealing with this pandemic, both personally and professionally. The uncertainty, the complications of trying to get anything done whether it was grocery shopping or taking the dog to the vet, the anguish that I have felt in trying to be cheerful at work to meet the needs of my staff and patients while dealing with a series of health issues and stressors at home, the isolation from family and friends, the everything. I could not work from home and I work in healthcare. My health and safety and that of my loved ones was top of mind 24 hours a day in the face of mask mandates, constant cleaning at work and trying to figure out how to work under the current public health guidelines so that both my staff and customers felt safe. I am not in a position to retire just yet although this pandemic has inspired me to make a plan to get out of healthcare in a few years or at the very least, work part time. The price that I have paid is complete and utter exhaustion.

We are all doing the best that we can to get through the day, the week, the year. I wish each and every one of you good health, love and peace. Happy stitching!

Oct 12, 2021

I knew that it had been a while since I have made a blog post so it is, and it is not surprising, that the last entry is dated April 2021. To be frank, COVID has shot the hell out of so much of my life. I have been fortunate enough to not actually be sick from the virus, but it has infected and affected so much of my life. I work in healthcare so there is that. I also moved two provinces away from my family and friends about 6 months before Canada shut down due to COVID. Nineteen months after the country shut down, my mind and body are in desperate need of rest and healing.

This is not the time or place to go into what has been going on in my work and personal life which I fondly refer to as a massive dumpster fire. Just know that my needles and threads have been sitting in the corner, gathering dust. No soap has been made, no decorating done, no neat ideas followed up on until very recently when I took some steps to grab onto some normalcy and health in my life so that I can thrive instead of barely surviving from moment to moment. 

Time marches on. Life goes on. I wish you all health and peace and lots of joyful stitching! My needles and thread have been pulled out of the corner and while not fully joyful yet, creating has begun anew here.

Happy stitching!